Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?