i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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