those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
