what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Randomize