Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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