Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
