This girl is more easily done than said...
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
