Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I puked a lego.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.