i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
and she was petting her beer can
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.