Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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