I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
