a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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