Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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