I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize