i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.