I would do horrible things to your vagina.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE