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• (302): View more from Delaware

  is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?

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• (954): View more from Florida

  so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop

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• (952): View more from Minnesota

  Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.

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  21 Sketchy Drug Deals That Are Scary AF

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (816): View more from Missouri

  Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.

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• (805): View more from California

  My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."

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• (571): View more from Virginia

  Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter

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  17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts

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• (417): View more from Missouri

  I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.

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• (352): View more from Florida

  Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants

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• (604): View more from British Columbia

  You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?

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