...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
