So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
