I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
