she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
