Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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