Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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