You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Randomize
