If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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