Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I smell stomach acid.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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