Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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