woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
