You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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