whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
