ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
