I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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