WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize