the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
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Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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