We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
ok first of all what the fuck
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
