Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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