JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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