Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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