she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize