we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
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