my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
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