i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
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