took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
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2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
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Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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