you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
