I'm going to jail i love you
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Randomize