Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
