oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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