i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
He felt like a one man threesome
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
