I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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