why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
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I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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