Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
