These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
