Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
how do flat chested girls get laid?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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