How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
