i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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