I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
