and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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