we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
