I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
