I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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